Why was life so unfair to women? I complained mentally. In addition to the inconvenience of forty weeks of pregnancy, we also have to go through pain that a man could never endure in order to give birth. So why does sex have to hurt too?
“Don’t push yourself.”
“It’s fine. …doesn’t it hurt for you?”
“Not at all.”
I suddenly realized that although Satoru knew full well I was in pain, he was too aroused to stop. And far from empathizing with me, he was probably getting off on it. What an asshole.
But soon the pain disappeared. I felt myself growing wet. Instead of feeling like I was being forced into something unpleasant, pleasure began to take hold.
I moaned and Satoru asked, “Does it feel good?”
It was an unneeded question. Instead of answering, I raked his back hungrily.
So I was no longer a virgin. And now I was forced to think about how I would pass our next physical exam. Once again, it was the woman who had to deal with it.
Satoru’s movements grew more intense. Even as I felt my pleasure mounting, I had a moment of panic. If I got pregnant, things would get really complicated.
But before I could stop him, Satoru froze.
I thought he had finally realized the problem, but that wasn’t it.
He was looking down at me with an expression of such love and tenderness, I thought he was about to cry.
I had a sudden realization. His look wasn’t directed at me. I wasn’t sure how, but he seemed to see in me the shadow of the boy he had never stopped loving.
At the same time, I felt from the bottom of my heart a longing for the same boy.
Satoru started moving again, faster this time.
I was quickly reaching my climax. When I orgasmed, the face I saw was no longer Satoru’s, but another boy’s.
Both of us were using each other to make love to someone who was no longer in this world. It might be extremely abnormal, and you might even say we were cheating on each other, but we both knew and wanted it.
After I orgasmed, Satoru pulled out and came on the wall of the hut.
For a while, we simply lay panting.
Even in the pleasant afterglow of sex, the words the faceless boy had said in my dream went around and around in my mind.
Why did he tell me what he did?
He told me not to aid Maria’s escape.
And that she had to die.